Google+ Sandra's Stories: My secret fears

Monday, 16 September 2013

My secret fears

During the early years of writing The Ghostly Grammar Boy I had two big fears. The first was that someone might steal my ideas, robbing me of my world best-selling novel. The second was that people might think badly of me when they read my book. I used to lock up my drafts in password protected files, and had copyright marks scrawled on every page. I would rarely tell people I was writing a book, and when I did, I was evasive about the storyline. When people asked to read it, I would always refuse. I did not want to risk losing my work, and at the same time I was petrified they might not like it.

An early version of my book
Finally, one day, after much begging by a friend, I decided it was time to get over my fears. After making my friend promise he wouldn’t copy my book, I gave it to him to read. I spent a sleepless week, tossing and turning, imagining all the horrible things he might think about it, and at the same time, picturing him sending it off to publishers under his name. When I saw him again, I was barely holding myself together as I asked him what he thought. I knew there was no turning back. I could never un-hear his words if he hated it, and I’d never get the book back if he wanted to take it. I needn’t have worried… because he hadn’t even started it. That was five years ago, and until this day, he’s never read a word.

After this happened to me several times, I began to realise I’d been suffering from serious delusions of grandeur. It didn’t matter what people thought of my book, if I could get them to open it up and read the first page, it was a great compliment. If they read the whole thing, it was the greatest gift of all. As for plagiarism, if someone managed to get my work published from the hordes of novels sent to publishers ever year, I applaud them. I would hire them to help me with my next book.

It’s thanks to writing The Ghostly Grammar Boy I’ve learnt you shouldn’t worry too much about what people think of you, you should just be flattered they thought of you at all. Thank you so much to everyone who reads this blog. I really appreciate your support and would love it if you read my book and left a review!